We took our brand new Kenyan friend
On a hike inside a cloud
We climbed up a ben and got to the cairn
And decided that he’d done us proud

So we stopped for a picnic at what would have been
A perfect wee spot for a beautiful view
But the elements had somewhat conspired against us
And an expanse of mist was the best we could do

Bravely, he sat there, eating his sandwich
Deciding that we must be mad
At the words “let’s head home” his by now frozen face
Could not show how much his heart was glad

Down we went, back to the car park
Accompanied by wind and rain
Promising warm showers, haggis and hot chocolate
To take his mind off all the pain

“We made it” we cried as we got to the car
And drove home for much longed-for showers
He then collapsed in bed and has not emerged yet
We should wake him up in a few hours

Robert, dear friend, do not hold this against us
We hoped that you’d end up enjoying this feat
Your stone on the cairn proves you made it up there
This is a not an adventure you need to repeat!